Family Law and Divorce
Frequently Asked Questions

Whether you’re facing the possibility of your first divorce, or are trying to enforce the terms of a prior divorce decree, we know you have a lot of questions about how the law works in Illinois. Below, we’ve put together the answers to the questions we are asked most frequently.

Your case is unique, however, and quickly reviewing brief answers to general questions is no way to prepare for the rest of your life. Getting the best information right from the start can make the difference between success and disaster. The best thing you can do is contact us  to talk about your case. There’s no charge, you’ve got nothing to lose. We’re professionals and we’re here to help.

The information below will help answer a lot of your questions. It will also prompt more questions. Remember, call us to learn what you need to know.

EARLY ON

Can we use one attorney?

No. Illinois law prohibits one attorney from representing both parties in a divorce case. If your spouse says that his or her attorney can represent both you, you’re being set up. It’s a trap. Your spouse’s lawyer is your spouse’s lawyer. His job is to help and take care of your spouse – not you. Call our office immediately. Even if you don’t hire a lawyer, you really shouldn’t work with your spouse’s lawyer as if he were your own. back to top

Should I file first?

Yes, there are many advantages to filing first – and no disadvantages. Filing early creates a mark in time to which the court may refer as the point where the marriage broke down. It will be important if any assets are moved around or hidden. Filing first will probably give you a psychological advantage over your spouse and the other attorney and it puts you in the driver’s seat, rather than being taken along for the ride. Filing first also gives your attorney a tremendous advantage at trial: the ability to put on your case first. That’s a huge advantage.

If you talk with an attorney who says it doesn’t matter whether or not you file first, scratch him off your list and talk with another attorney. back to top

How can I stop the divorce case?

There are lots of ways. In Illinois, a married person still has to prove grounds to get a divorce. The most common ground – irreconcilable differences – is not so easy to prove when you think about it. What differences could exist between a husband and wife that are truly irreconcilable? Also, to prove irreconcilable differences, the Petitioner must prove that reconciliation efforts have failed and future reconciliation attempts wouldn’t work. Can your spouse really prove those things? If not, you can probably stay married a long, long time. back to top

What if I just ignore the divorce papers and don’t sow up in court?

The case will go forward anyway and you’ll get creamed. Talk with our attorneys – you’ll get sound advice, great representation, and it won’t cost an arm and a leg. back to top

Is it okay to move out of the house?

It is if you don’t have kids. If you have children and want to stay involved in their lives and have any hope of custody or joint custody, the better plan is to stay in the home. Talk with one of our experienced and capable attorneys. back to top

Can I take half the money out of the bank accounts?

Sure. You can take all the money out if you want, it’s your money. Be fair and reasonable – but be sure to take care of yourself. If you fear your spouse will try to financially choke you into submission, strike first and set up your own bank account. back to top

Can I keep using the credit cards?

Yes, but be reasonable. Use the credit cards for necessities and utilities. Don’t go on a spending spree – that will only hurt you later on. back to top

Can I change the locks?

Not without a court order. back to top

We’ve separated, can I start dating?

In Illinois, your spouse can present evidence about any affairs you had – even if the affair didn’t start until after the case was filed or after you separated. Don’t introduce your kids to new boy/girlfriends too early. Talk with your lawyer and take it easy. The better practice is to go slow until the case is concluded. back to top

If I start seeing a therapist, counselor, psychologist, etc., can my spouse use that against me?

No. Illinois law prohibits such evidence unless you introduce it. Lots of people have lots of problems. There’s nothing wrong with getting help if you need it. The real problem arises when a person needs help, stays in denial, and refuses treatment or therapy. If you think you need help, get it. Denying or refusing mental health assistance is a big mistake. back to top

COWELL TARADASH, P.C.

What is the firm’s philosophy?

The attorneys at Cowell Taradash, P.C., concentrate their practice exclusively in the area of family law and matrimonial matters. Our focus allows us to be familiar with recent court decisions, changes in the law and the inclinations of many judges.

We proudly adhere to the civility standards set by the American Bar Association. Civility is a crucial obligation of an attorney; therefore, you can trust us to take it seriously. Our attorneys are committed to advocate for your rights and for what is best for your family. We cover all aspects of your case and offer solid legal advice and strategy.

Our firm collectively has decades of experience and our dedicated attorneys strive to obtain the best possible conclusion for each unique case. Although each client’s case is distinctly different, our objective is always the same: to obtain the most beneficial outcome for you. back to top

Regarding Divorce Court Procedures:

How long will my case take?

It depends. The fastest we’ve done a case is five days: filed on Monday, divorced on Friday. Most of the cases we handle are concluded within three or four months. Some cases take longer. The longest case we’ve been involved in went on for over fifteen years. back to top

How long do we have to be separated before we file?

You don’t have to be separated before your file. In fact, in many cases, you don’t even have to be separated to finish the divorce.. Many people get divorced and continue to live together until the house sells, or until the job transfer comes through, etc., etc. back to top

How can I show the judge my spouse abuses drugs / alcohol?

Through evidence. Your testimony, the testimony of a friend, neighbor, relative, or co-worker will all suffice. If necessary, urine samples can be taken, as can hair follicles, and even blood samples for liver enzyme tests (called a “liver function panel” where the test looks for an enzyme called gamma glutamyl transferase to test for alcoholism). Judges are smart, not dumb. They know what to look for. You just have to know how to show it to them. Work with one of our attorneys to make sure this critical element is recognized by the court. back to top

Regarding Domestic Violence:

How does the law define “domestic violence?”

“Orders of Protection” can be issued by the court whenever there is “abuse.” “Domestic violence” means abuse. “Abuse” means physical abuse, harassment, or interference with personal liberty. Harassment means knowing conduct which is not necessary to accomplish a purpose that is reasonable under the circumstances; would cause a reasonable person emotional distress; and does cause emotional distress. Unless there is a VERY good excuse, all of the following can prove “abuse”:

1. Creating a disturbance at your place of employment or school;
2. Repeatedly telephoning you work or home;
3. Repeatedly following you in a public place;
4. Keeping you under surveillance;
5. Threatening physical force, confinement, or restraint; or
6. Improperly concealing a child from you, or threatening to remove your child from Illinois or from your care. back to top

What can I do now?

Prepare a SAFETY PLAN! Rehearse! Know what to say the next time a conflict arises. Know what to do and where to go. Stay out of rooms with only one exit – unless you can lock yourself in and make phone calls. Stay out of rooms with weapons (the kitchen has knives, the basement probably has hammers and such). If you rely on a cell phone paid for by your spouse, CARRY POCKET CHANGE. Be prepared to have your cell phone turned off by a manipulative spouse. Be prepared to have your credit cards turned off. Pack a small bag and leave it at a friend’s house in case you have flee to safety. It’s a good idea to keep in a safe place copies of documents you may need to get your life started again: bank statements, credit card statements, your birth certificate and Social Security card, for starters.

Don’t be afraid to flee. NEVER hesitate to call the cops – that’s what they’re there for.

Work out a plan with your supporters. If you can’t call 911, agree on a code word so your supporter can call 911 for you. Numbers work great! Tell your supporter that if you phone and utter the word “six” he or she should call the police for you because you can’t. Like this:

“Hi, Jerry, I didn’t think I’d get you. It’s already after SIX. I’m not interrupting, am I? I know you eat dinner around SIX. I only have a minute to talk, Bob came home before SIX tonight and I’m busy with dinner. Did you see the SIX o’clock news? There was this story of these SIX kids in the suburbs, I think it said they were all SIXteen and all had consumed at least SIX beers when...”

You get the idea. back to top

What else should I do?

Call 911! It’s just that simple. When in doubt, call the cops. They’ll know what to do. back to top

What can the courts do?

Plenty. Abusive spouses are routinely removed from the home. If they go back or call again, they go to jail. back to top

Regarding Divorce Attorneys:

Can I bring a friend for support when I meet with my attorney?

Yes! Most attorneys will tell you that you need to meet alone in order to protect the attorney-client privilege. A friend, however, can offer great moral support, can help you stay calm and focused, and help you remember key facts, events, dates, etc. A good attorney will be able to accommodate you and your supporters... without sacrificing the attorney-client privilege. back to top

How do I change lawyers in the middle of my case?

You can call our attorneys for a free consultation and, if you want to change lawyers, we can do it for you. It’s easy, you can do it by phone (no office visit necessary), it’s FREE, and it takes about five minutes. Just call our office.

Many of our clients hire us only after they’ve had many bad experiences with their first attorney. If you’re not getting the representation you need, don’t waste time. Call our office for a free consultation and consider your options. You’ve got too much at stake to not get the best representation.

When you hire us as “substitute counsel,” you pay a reasonable retainer and give us some basic information. We’ll take care of everything else. We will:

• fire your old attorney for you (you don’t have to make that uncomfortable phone call) – at no cost to you,
• file our “Additional Appearance” with the court and make our introductions to your spouse’s attorney, the court, and anyone else involved in your case – at no cost to you,
• take control of your file from your former attorney – at no cost to you,
• obtain a final bill from your former attorney and review it to make sure you weren’t overcharged or cheated – at no cost to you,
• get up to speed before your next court date – and we give you a courtesy credit to cover all of those charges – so it’s all at no cost to you.

You won’t have to pay us to re-do or learn what has already happened in your case. Our seasoned and skilled attorneys can take over your case today. You can have a team of divorce lawyers and support staff helping you create the strategies that will secure your future. It’s fast, it’s easy, and it’s FREE. back to top

Regarding Costs:

How much will my case cost?

It depends. At the start of your case, your lawyer has no idea of how much your case will cost .Simple uncontested cases can usually be resolved for less than $500. Other cases cost more. If your case involves a lot of negotiating or fighting, it will cost more. back to top

I don’t want the divorce – shouldn’t my spouse have to pay?

Nope. You pay your own fees if you can afford them. If you can’t afford them, and your spouse can afford to pay for both lawyers, then your spouse pays. In nearly all cases, the spouses share the attorneys’ fees in some ratio – not necessarily 50/50 or 100/0 – usually it’s somewhere in between. back to top

How can I keep my costs down?

Be a good client. Gather records and documents and get them to us promptly and in an organized way. Make a list of things to talk about before your call – that will help to keep communications organized and productive. One call resolving five issues is better than five, one-issue calls. Don’t bring your lawyer into emotional contests with your spouse. Rely on your therapist, family, and friends when you need to unload emotional matters. You can trust your attorney to listen to your concerns, but you’re paying by the hour. back to top

Regarding Property Division:

How is property divided?

You will receive all of your non-marital property. Your spouse will receive all of his or her non-marital property. All of the marital property (and debt) will be divided according to equity. Illinois is an “equitable division” state. Property is divided according to fairness, not necessarily 50/50. There is no formula. back to top

My spouse has been hiding money – how can I prove it?

We have a lot of experience in tacking down hidden assets and cash income. It's a matter of creative discovery, patience, and diligence. It used to be true that a person could largely live a cash existence and hide assets and cash-flow. In America in the 21st century, however, it's extraordinarily difficult (if not impossible) to live and function without leaving any financial fingerprints. Our experienced attorneys have the skill, knowledge, and resources, to track down almost any deadbeat. Call us to learn more. back to top

Can my spouse be forced to sign a joint tax return?

Probably not. If filing a joint return would save money, though, and your spouse refuses to cooperate, we can usually convince the judge to make your spouse pay to you the amount lost due to filing separate returns. back to top

My wife has a lot of credit card debt. The cards are in her name only. Will I have to pay any of it?

Maybe. When credit cards are used during the marriage, the debt is marital debt. Sometimes, however, specific charges are assigned to one spouse. You probably shouldn’t have to pay for a lot of lingerie she bought using the credit cards. By the same token, she probably shouldn’t have to pay the debt associated with some of your purchases. If the cards were used for everyday necessities (food, gas, etc.), however, the debt is simply another form of marital debt. back to top

Can I shut off the credit cards?

Yes. If your spouse is running up a lot of debt, turning off the credit cards is a good idea. back to top

Can I get a portion of my spouse’s pension?

Absolutely! Contributions made during the marriage to any retirement account are marital property. Retirement benefits earned before the marriage or after the divorce is final are the non-marital property of the employed spouse. back to top

How do I get part of my spouse’s 401(k) or IRA without paying the 10% penalty for early withdrawal?

Transfers between spouses incident to a divorce are non-taxable events. For pensions, special court orders are put in place that will divide the pension when it vests. back to top

What about Social Security?

You’ll collect Social Security based on your contributions over your years of work. Social Security benefits are governed by federal law and don’t have any place in a marital property settlement. If you didn’t work and your spouse did, you can collect spousal benefits if you were married at least ten years and your spouse is at least 62 years old. back to top

What about club memberships and frequent flyer miles?

They’re marital property and subject to a fair and equitable division by the court. back to top

We borrowed money from my family when we bought our house. Will my spouse have to pay it back?

The marriage will pay back the debt – if it’s really a debt. You should have a signed promissory note and, with luck, your family recorded the note at the time of the loan. Without good evidence, though, what you call a loan may look more like a gift. back to top

What about the car loans / leases?

It’s up to the bank whether they’ll refinance the loan in one name only. There are a lot of ways to handle these things. In some cases assets can be liquidated to pay off the loans / leases. In other cases, we have each party keep a car, make the payments (including insurance and registration fees) and periodically send proof of payment to the former spouse. It goes on that way until the lease / loan is paid off. back to top

If my spouse files for bankruptcy, will I be responsible for our joint debts?

Yes. back to top

Am I responsible for our IRS debt?

You are if you signed a joint return. If the debt arises from some fraud or circumstance about which you knew nothing, however, you may be able to protect yourself by seeking “innocent spouse relief.” back to top

Regarding Custody and Visitation:

How old does a child have to be before he can decide where to live?

18. We don’t let kids make such decisions. Kids can, however, make their wishes known to the court. Usually a court-appointed attorney will work with the children and convey important issues and ideas to the judge. Kids can also meet and talk with the judge – directly – without having to go on the witness stand, testify, or be subject to cross examination. back to top

Can my boyfriend/girlfriend get to know the kids?

Sure. Be careful about introducing new adults to the kids, though. The kids have a lot on their plate already. The general rule is that you (and your spouse) should not host overnight guests when the kids are around. Going out to dinner or a movie, though, is fine. back to top

My ex doesn’t have the kids ready when I go to pick them up. What can I do?

First, make sure you have a good court order for visitation. Second, talk with one of our attorneys to enforce your rights. The police won’t do it for you – you’ll have to take your former spouse back to court. back to top

My ex hasn’t paid support in a long time. Can I keep him from seeing the kids?

Of course not. Why would you want to punish the children (by denying them access to their other parent) just because the support isn’t being paid? That hurts the kids twice. Enforce your support rights and make the children available for visitation. back to top

Regarding Child Support:

Are the percentage guidelines written in stone?

No – they are GUIDELINES. Courts vary from the guidelines (increases and decreases) often, depending on the circumstances. Talk with one of our experienced attorneys to see if a variance might be warranted in your case. back to top

Do I have to pay support even if the kids are with me part of the year?

Maybe – it depends on the language of your court order. Your must obey the court order. If you don’t like the order, obey it and go back to court to change it. Until it is changed, you must obey. back to top

My ex doesn’t let me see the kids. Do I still have to pay support?

Of course. You can enforce your visitation rights – just call our attorneys. You must obey the court’s child support order regardless of whether you see the kids. back to top

What about daycare expenses?

Daycare expenses are sometimes expected to be paid by the custodial parent out of the child support money received. Other times, the court will tack on daycare expenses above-and-beyond the regular child support. It depends on the circumstances of your case. Call our attorneys to learn more. back to top

What about health insurance?

Illinois law requires obligors (parents who pay child support) to also obtain health insurance for he kids if they can do so through their employer. If the employer doesn’t offer insurance, obligors maybe required to buy health insurance for the kids or reimburse the custodial parent for the cost of health insurance. back to top

What about extracurricular activities and private school?

It depends. Music lessons, tutors, athletics, etc. are all discretionary with the court. The judge will look at what the kids have done in the past, any agreements between the parents, and the financial resources. back to top

When does child support end?

On the child’s 18th birthday. If your child will still be in high school on his or her 18th birthday, then child support is extended until graduation. Your court order may also include a different termination date – like the 21st birthday. Check your court order to make sure. Under some circumstances, children may become emancipated prior to their 18th birthday... in which case child support ends upon emancipation. Call our attorneys if you have questions. back to top

Who pays for college?

The parents and the child. There is no formula. Courts do what’s fair. Kids should expect to pay for part of their education – whether its with student loans, savings, or a part-time job, students should expect to pay. Mom and Dad should expect to pay, too; each according to their ability. back to top

Regarding Alimony And Maintenance:

How much alimony will I get?

It depends on the circumstances of your case. There is no formula (like with child support). The court must consider many factors in determining the amount of maintenance to be paid. back to top

How long does alimony last?

It depends. Sometimes it can last a lifetime, in other cases it lasts only a few months. back to top

Can the amount of alimony ever be changed?

Yes – by showing that there has been a substantial change of circumstances. back to top